The Reluctant Missionary | When You Know That You Know It's Time To Go

February 12, 2008 I stepped on to a plane bound for Krakow, Poland without any CLUE as to what God had in store for me. He knew.

Mel and Dave asked if this was where God was calling me and for how long. I asked how long other people commit to when they move here. 2 years. I had no idea what I was saying, "Great, then I'll do 2 years too."  He knew.

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I had no idea what the culture was going to be like, how cold the winters would be, how dark the days become, how rare some vegetables are to find.  He knew.

He knew.

He knew the hardships, the seasons of loneliness, the depths of intimacy and vulnerability.  He knew the place that I had just walked through with wounds and scraps and a bleeding heart, and He knew where He needed to take me.

My God knows me. And He knows my absolute confidence when I say that my life, my heart, have been utterly transformed because of this crazy leap I took almost 5 years ago. I sit here with tears streaming down my face because I am in awe of the privilege I have been afforded to share life and ministry with the Josiah Venture family. For whatever hardship I have experienced, it is easily eclipsed by the glorious glow of relationships within JV, the experience of working alongside churches, ministries and in homes, and the joy of seeing a lost heart being made alive in Christ! Oh the joy of our lives that we get to live!

The past 4.5 years have been cherished days, and God has given me every reason to continue to trust Him and His plans for me. And with that confidence, I know the next step He is asking me to take. It feels like I'm taking another crazy leap, but man....if it could be anything like this last season...I'm taking a running leap!!!I know that my season here in Europe with Josiah Venture is coming to an end and I will be moving back to the US the first part of January.

I know that this is a good move for me, and I'm incredibly excited about what He has in store for my future. But when it comes at the cost of having to give up the privilege of living life hurts.  This place, this family, this ministry has become home. It's hard to leave home.

But I look ahead to the family that I have back in the states. The richness of relationship, the community of beloved people who have taken this journey with me. You, who have faithfully and generously supported me in finances and prayer, God has used you so powerfully to bear witness of his greatness and love in my life.  I look ahead to the opportunity to tell you this face to face but for know I say, simply and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything!

There are so many things that I want to say, holes to fill in, reasons to explain, but I think for now I'll leave it here.